Review #41: Lunch Lady

Dad:  Today we are reviewing the first two "Lunch Lady" books.
Gracie (age 9): (singing)  Lunch Lady!  Dun-dun-dunt-dowwww...
Dad:  That's an awesome theme song!
Isaac (age 10):  These are graphic novels.  And the only colors are white, black, and yellow.
Gracie:  It's an action-packed book of yellowy wonder.
Dad:  Why do you think they chose yellow?
Gracie:  Because it's the color of macaroni.  And the color of cheese.
Dad:  Before we even picked these up from the library today -- before you knew about them -- you guys had already been making comic books all morning.
Isaac:  Yes, and to make two pages it took two hours!
Gracie:  Using just 3 colors would make it easier.  I've been using a lot of colors for my comic -- I'm not even done yet!  It's taken the whole day, and I haven't even gotten to the part where my superhero gets to her plane!
Dad:  Who made the Lunch Lady books?
Gracie:  Jarrett J. Krosoczka.  He makes funny movies on his website.
Dad:  You guys like to go his site, don't you?  You used to go on there all the time.
Gracie:  Isn't that where the Baghead game is?  And the Monkey Boy game?
Dad:  Tell me about Lunch Lady.
Lily (age 6):  She is a lunch girl who is a superhero.  She has super-food-stuff.  Like fishsticks with chains that hook them together and they whack - whack - whack - whack!
Dad:  Fishstick nunchucks.
Lily:  And a banana boomerang.  And her motorcycle can shoot out sloppy joes.  And she has chicken nuggets that explode.
Dad:  She has a secret lair behind the refrigerator.
Gracie:  Awesome.
Isaac:  What's behind our refrigerator?
Dad:  Dust and ucky goo.
Gracie:  And she has a spatula-copter.  And whenever she's surprised, Lunch Lady says things like "Cauliflower!" or "Holy Guacamole!"
Isaac:  "Oh, Gravy Train!"
Dad:  Do you guys have a lunch lady?
Gracie:  Yeah, Mommy is our lunch lady.
Dad:  And she's your teacher and substitute and librarian and principal...
Gracie:  A one-woman-band.
Dad:  Do you think your lunch lady fights crime when you guys aren't looking?
Isaac:  No.
Lily:  I don't think Momma fights crime.  She's scared of stuff.
Dad:  What is she scared of?
Lily:  Bears.
Dad:  Well, maybe she doesn't fight bears.  But maybe she fights bad guys.
Lily:  She's even scared of ninjas I think.
Dad:  Let's look at the first book.
Gracie: (singing)  Lunch Lady!  Dun-dun-da-daaah!
Dad: ...and the Cyborg Substitute.
Gracie:  Bum-bum-baaaaawww!
Dad:  Ooo.
Gracie:  I'm the theme-song-girl.
Dad:  Jarrett Krosoczka needs to take you around everywhere to do the soundtrack while he's reading.  Alright, tell me about this book.
Gracie:  Well it's about a lunch lady who is a super-ninja.  And I made a theme song for her.  Lunch Lady - Bum-bum-Bahhhh!
Dad:  Actually there is a theme song for her already.
Gracie:  What.
Dad:  I'll have to play it for you later on the computer.
Gracie:  I'm going to lose my job!
Lily: (singing)  Luuuuunch Lady, I looooove yoooooooou.... La la la...
Dad:  I don't think that's how it goes...
Lily:  Ha ha ha!
Gracie:  The first book is about Lunch Lady.  She's a super-ninja.
Dad:  Who's her little partner?
Lily:  I forgot.
Gracie:  Betty.
Lily:  Betty.  Duh-duh-da-Nah-nahhh!
Gracie:  That is my job!
Dad:  Lily can sing too...
Gracie:  Betty is a sidekick who makes inventions.
Isaac:  There are also these three kids called the Breakfast Bunch - a girl named Dee who is a tomboy, a really smart boy who likes electronics, and another kid.
Dad:  That third kid doesn't really have a personality does he?
Isaac:  Not really.  He's just like every-kid.
Dad:  Who did Lunch Lady have to fight in this first book?
Gracie:  Cyborgs.
Isaac:  Cyborgs of doom.
Gracie:  They were the teachers...  but they were not teachers.  They were cyyyyyyborrrrrrgs.
Isaac:  There is a new substitute math teacher who says the regular math teacher is sick.
Gracie:  He was giving the kids all so much work!
Isaac:  One day the Breakfast Bunch kids are curious about Lunch Lady.  So the kids decide to follow the Lunch Lady to see what she does.
Gracie:  Lunch Lady!  Duhn-duhn-dah!!!
Isaac:  And the Lunch Lady was following...  (beep!  beep!  beep!)  ...what the...?
(Nearby phone receiver starts beeping. Mom enters the room looking for it.)
Dad:  It's our lunch lady -- she does fight crime!  She's being summoned!
(Laughter)
Dad:  Someone is calling the Mom-phone.
Gracie:  Mom-Lady!  Dun-dun-daaaaaah!
Isaac:  Anyway, Lunch Lady followed the substitute, and he was really a robot designed by the evil-Mr-scientist-dude.
Gracie:  The science teacher who was not a cyborg was the one behind the plan.
Isaac:  He was going to replace all the other teachers with these cyborg people so the students would like him best.
Dad:  Tell me about the second book in the series...
Gracie: (singing)  Lunch Lady and the League of Librarians - buh-buh-nah-naaah!
Dad:  This is a very musical review today.
Lily:  There were evil librarians.
Dad:  Evil librarians?  I've never heard of such a thing.  All librarians are wonderful people.
Lily:  These weren't.  Mwah-HA-ha-ha-hahhhhhh!  They were going to destroy video games so people would read more.  They were going to smash them!  Bang!  Bam!  Pwow!
Isaac:  With all the money they stole, the librarians got these magical book-things.  They were destroying the video games with them.  Like, if the librarian said, "Lion, Witch, and the Wardrobe" then a lion-ghost would come out of the book and attack.  Lunch Lady was going to stop them, but she got caught.  Then the Breakfast Bunch came and saved her.
Gracie:  The Breakfast Bunch thinks they are superheroes too, but they're not.
Dad:  Why do you think there are so many villainous people that turn up at this particular school?
Gracie:  Because it's an evil school.  It's a very good thing that we homeschool.  Mommy and you are the only people who are my teachers, and I KNOW you guys aren't evil because you've raised us to not be evil.
Dad:  Tell me, who are the Lunch Lady books for?
Gracie:  For me.  And for people who like graphic novels and yellow.  And like food.  And for lunch ladies.  All you lunch ladies of the world whose favorite color is yellow -- this is a really good book for you.
Dad:  Are there any new gadgets you think Betty should invent?
Isaac:  A candycane crowbar.
Lily:  A potato powerbeam...
Dad:  A potato what?
Gracie:  A broccoli laser line...
Dad:  What's a laser line?
Gracie:  I don't know.
Isaac:  Mine's the best.
Dad:  Yours is the only one that makes sense.  Alright, can you think of any more missions for Lunch Lady in future books?
Isaac:  Fighting an evil gym teacher.
Lily:  I have one!  They get a classroom pet, and that pet is evil.  And they have to destroy their pet.
Gracie:  An evil robot hamster!
Lily:  Yeah!
Gracie:  I've got one, I've got one!  The principal tries to take over every school...
Dad:  Mr. Hernandez?  He looks so nice though.
Gracie:  Yeah, but he is evil.  And one school is not enough.  So he tries to take over all the schools in the whole world with his giant pencil that shoots into outer space and puts a laser beam on all the principals and turns them into duplicates of him so he can take over the world.
Dad:  Amazing.
Gracie:  I want to grow up to be a lunch lady!
Lily:  Me too.
Isaac:  Could I get those gadgets and stuff?
Gracie:  Actually, I want to grow up to be an artist.  I changed my mind.
Dad:  Then you could just draw pictures of lunch ladies.
Isaac:  They should make this into a cartoon.
Dad:  Guess what.  They're making it into a movie.
Isaac:  What kind of a movie?
Dad:  With live action people.  Not a cartoon.
Gracie:  So they DO have a theme song.
Dad:  Maybe you could do the soundtrack!
Gracie:  Yeah!  Lunch Lady!  Bum-bow-buh-dow!

Lunch Lady and Dee, by Gracie

Lunch Lady and some cyborgs, by Isaac

Lunch Lady and Dee fighting an evil hamster driving a robot, by Lily

Author/Illustrator: Jarrett Krosoczka
Check out the Lunch Lady theme song
Published, 2009: Knopf
Like'em? Find'em

Review #40: Down the Back of the Chair

Dad:  Do you remember a little while ago when a fellow from Hungary wanted us to review a Hungarian book?  We found a Hungarian folktale to review...
Isaac (age 10):  Does someone else want us to do one now?
Dad:  This time someone from New Zealand... actually more than one person from New Zealand, on more than one occasion has asked us to review a book, any book, by Margaret Mahy.  She's from New Zealand, and I gather they all love her over there.
Lily (age 6):  It's time to let them have their wish.
Dad:  Yep.  And people love her here in America too.  So this is a book by Margaret Mahy.  And it's illustrated by Polly Dunbar.
Gracie (age 9):  Dunbar.  That's such a cool name.
Lily: (singing)  Dunbar!  Dun, dun, dun, dunbar!
Gracie:  I want to be called "Dunbar"!
Lily: (still singing)  Dunbar, Dunbar, Duuuunbar...
Dad:  Polly Dunbar is not from New Zealand.  She's from England.
Gracie:  Awesome.
Dad:  The book is called "Down the Back of the Chair."
Lily:  Yes.  "Down the Back of the Chair."  That is what it is called.
Dad:  I looked over lots of Margaret Mahy books, and this was my favorite.
Gracie:  Me too.
Lily: (singing again)  Down the back of the chaaaaairrrrrrr.
Dad:  So, tell us what the book is about...
Gracie:  "Down the Back of the Chair" is about a family that is starting to get poor.  Just - like - us.
Lily:  But they were poor because they lost their keys.  A bird took them.
Dad:  And with no keys, then there's no car... no work... no money.
Gracie:  Then the little two-year-old tells them to reach down the back of the chair.  So they do, and out pops crazy things.
Isaac:  They keep finding more and more stuff down the back of the chair.  Lots of stuff down the chair.  Like some fuzzy string and a spider and a purple eel.
Lily:  That thing that looks like a snake -- that's an eel.
Isaac:  Eels.  That's weird.
Gracie:  And there is a ring, a lion, a dragon, a clown.  And there are elephants with teapots.
Isaac:  You could get zillions and millions of dollars just by showing off the dragon.
Gracie:  And a bandicoot.  What's a bandicoot?  He's cute.
Isaac:  The bandicoot is awesomeness.
Gracie:  And there was a twin!  The baby's twin was down the chair!
Isaac:  The twinless twin became a twinfull twin.  And the twinfull twins ate an icecream cake.
Gracie:  He's happy because he has his long lost twin.
Lily:  The babies get everything.
Gracie:  Like, they get the icecream sundae.
Lily:  They even got the diamond ring.
Isaac:  We gotta get a chair like that.
Lily:  I wish I ate that sundae with the babies.
Gracie:  Then they find Uncle Bill's will.  A will is a thingie that says where someone's money goes.
Isaac:  Where there's a will, there's a way.
Gracie:  They also find money.  Then they are all so rich -- so, so rich.
Isaac:  And their house exploded.
Gracie:  They got so much stuff, their house exploded!  And when they said, "Who needs car keys? Now we could just call a taxi" --then a taxi pops out of the chair!
Isaac:  I want that chair.
Gracie:  It's possible to live down there.  The baby did it.
Dad:  What do you think the baby and the dragon and the lion were doing down there all day?
Isaac:  Boogie-ing.
Gracie:  Having tea with the elephants.
Isaac:  That was a very cramped chair.
Lily:  It was a magical chair.
Gracie:  I think everyone fit because they magically shrunk tiny as ants.
Isaac:  I think the animals never ate all those years, so they got skinnier and skinnier until they were as skinny as paper.
Dad:  So if the chair was magical, does that mean it wouldn't work with our chair?
Lily:  Nope.  We would have to look for that chair.
Dad:  What things do you find in our cushions?
Gracie:  Pencils.
Isaac:  I found two quarters and a penny.
Gracie:  Putting all the money together that I've found in the back of our chair, I probably found two dollars and three cents.  In change.
Dad:  We need to find a better chair.
Gracie:  We need to find the will of Daddy Warbucks.
Isaac:  Why didn't they just pull the whole seat cushion off?
Dad:  You mean instead of reaching behind it over and over?
Isaac:  That would be so much easier.
Dad:  Alright everyone...  what is this called: "...challenging chair, champion chair, cheerful chair..."
Lily:  Chiming.
Dad:  Chiming?  Is that when you're rhyming with a "ch"?
Gracie:  It's called alliteration.
Dad:  We also saw some internal rhymes.  Okay, you tell me if this is internal rhyming or alliteration...
Isaac:  Oh great.
Dad:  "A skink, a skunk, a skate, a ski."
Isaac:  Alliteration.
Dad:  Right.  How about, "There's pleasure and treasure."
Gracie:  Rhyming.
Dad:  But what about, "There's pleasure, treasure, toys, and trash."
Lily:  Alliteration and rhyming.
Dad:  What about the pictures in this book?
Isaac:  The spider has a lot of boots.
Gracie:  The pictures are cute.
Isaac:  The pictures look like cut paper, but they are actually drawings.
Dad:  I think the illustrator drew all the parts separately, cut them out, and then glued them all down into one picture.
Gracie:  They're cool.
Dad:  So what did you think of Margaret Mahy?
Gracie:  Margaret Mahy's marvelous.
Dad:  Ahhh, there's some alliteration.
Isaac:  Magnificent.
Dad:  How about Polly Dunbar?
Gracie:  Polly's perfect.
Dad:  How about Dunbar?
Gracie:  Dunbar...  Dunbar...  Dunbar is an awesome name!
Lily:  Delightful Dunbar.
Gracie:  That could be the name of a candybar.

Dogs and drums and bubble gum, by Isaac

the twins find some cash, by Lily

the chair, by Gracie

Author: Margaret Mahy
Illustrator: Polly Dunbar
Published, 2006: Clarion Books
Like it?  Find it

Review #39: Max Spaniel

Lily (age 6):  This book is about Max Spaniel.  And it is called "Dinosaur Hunt."  And it is made by David Catrow.
Dad:  It's the first book in a series.  David Catrow has illustrated lots of stories, but this is the first one he's written.  Gracie, he did the pictures in that book you just got for your birthday, "I'm Still Here in the Bathtub."
Gracie (age 9): (singing)  "I'm still here in the baaaath-tub."  Yeah, I can tell.  The dogs in that book look like Max.
Lily:  Max looks funny.
Isaac (age 10):  He looks awesome.  He's a crazy dog.
Gracie:  He is awesome.
Isaac:  Awesome!
Dad:  Why?
Gracie:  Because.  He's hairy.  And he's got a pink spot where his bum should be -- he's got a pink belly.
Dad:  Alright, tell me about the book...
Gracie:  The book is about a dog that is black and white, and his name is Max Spaniel.  And he is a spaniel.
Isaac:  He's going hunting for dinosaurs.  First he hunts in the house.
Gracie:  He can't find any dinosaurs there.  So before moving outside, he packs everything he has.
Isaac:  Like golf clubs.
Gracie:  And he's got a bowling ball.
Isaac:  And Bologna.  Bologna?!
Lily:  And a hat.
Isaac:  Why does he need a bowling ball and a golf club to go hunting?  And bologna?  He packs everything except for the kitchen sink.
Dad:  I don't know... that's a pretty big bag.  Maybe the kitchen sink IS in there.
Isaac:  I didn't mean it literally.  I meant the saying.
Gracie:  He packs everything he has.
Isaac:  He had a little too much stuff, including the bologna.
Gracie:  He packs bologna, but then doesn't use the bologna.
Isaac:  He had too much stuff, so instead he just takes the triple-large net.  He may have gotten it from a garage sale.
Elijah (age 3):  A gi-normous net.
Gracie:  So he goes outside to hunt for a dinosaur, and he still can't find any.
Isaac:  Then he started finding all these "dinosaur bones" which was really just stuff around the yard.
Elijah:  He found a branch.  And a ball!  And a shovel!  And a skateboard!  And a freaky glove.
Gracie:  And a hose and a flower and a bottle cap and Lincoln Logs.
Isaac:  I still don't get why there are Lincoln Logs outside.
Lily:  He finds the yard stuff and makes a dinosaur by hooking them together.  He built a dinosaur.  The dog.  Max Spaniel!
Gracie:  He uses bikes for hips.
Lily:  And a hose, which is the tail.  He makes up a rib and toenails.
Elijah:  What's a rib?
Lily:  A football is for the head.  Flowers for lips - which look more like a tongue.
Gracie:  He said those were lips, but it's not.  That's a tongue.
Dad:  Does Max really think he's finding dinosaur parts, or is he just using his imagination?
Isaac:  He's using his imagination.  You can't tell at first if he really thinks they are bones or not, but when you finish the book you figure it out.  It's just his imagination.
Gracie:  Does he end up using this rubber ducky?  Oh, yeah.  There's the duck.
Dad:  Did it really look like a dinosaur?
Gracie:  If I try making my eyes fuzzy on purpose, I can tell it's a dinosaur.
Dad:  If you squint?
Elijah:  (grabbing a Fisher-Price dinosaur toy) This is what a dinosaur looks like.  (Then pointing at the book) But NOT this.  This is a dinosaur.  Look.
Isaac:  The cat ran away from the dinosaur terrified.  That cat is running for his life.  Then Max was happy.
Gracie:  He's a little goof-nugget.
Dad:  This type of book is called a "beginning reader."  Did it have easy words?
Isaac:  Uh-huh.  Except for "Spaniel."  That would be a little difficult.
Dad:  But it never says "spaniel" in the story itself.  Probably the biggest word is "dinosaur," but that's a word little kids like anyway.  You guys love to read now, but can you remember back to when reading was hard work?
Isaac:  When you're first learning, you don't like it one bit.  Then -- when you learn how to read, and you're really good at it -- then you start LOVING reading.  But then after a while you go back to normal... like, you don't love-love-love-love-love-love reading, but you still like it.
Dad:  If you gave this to a kid who is just learning to read and needs easy words, is this the kind of book he or she would enjoy?
Gracie:  Yeah.  Because Max is Awesome.  He looks awesome.  He's an awesome character.  He's the coolest dog ever.
Lily:  He looks weird and funny.  He looks like he would BE funny.
Isaac:  If someone is learning to read, Max Spaniel is one of the best books to read.

Max Spaniel and a big bag of bologna, by Gracie

Max adding a golf club, er, "dinosaur bone" to his creation, by Lily

Max Spaniel, by Elijah

Max and a dino creation, by Isaac -- pieces cut from magazines

(you can click these for a larger view...)

Author/Illustrator: David Catrow
Published, 2009: Scholastic
Like it? Find it



Time for another giveaway!  Scholastic is offering 5 prizes:

• Four runner-up winners will receive a copy of the new book.

• And one Grand Prize Winner will receive a copy of "Max Spaniel" autographed by David Catrow and a jumbo kids magnifying glass.

To enter, simply leave a comment on this post.  To make that comment worth two entries, let us know about a book (other than Max Spaniel) that you hadn't previously heard of but want to find (or did find) after having read one of the other 38 Bookie Woogie reviews.

We'll pick the winners randomly.  Be sure your comment has a way for us to contact you.

Contest runs until August 25th.  Good luck!