Review #124: The Monstore

Dad:  We have ourselves a copy of The Monstore, by Tara Lazar and James Burks!

Lily (age 10):  The words and pictures are so good together, you’d think they were done by the same person.

Isaac (age 14):  The book is about this kid named Zack.  He goes to the Monstore, which is a store with useful monsters. 

Lily:  The monsters are adorable.  Well, some of them are kind of creepy.  But mostly adorable.

Isaac:  Zack buys a monster in order to keep his little sister in line and keep her out of his room--

Gracie (age 12):  And what is his little sister’s name, hmmm?

Isaac:  Gracie.

Gracie:  Heh, heh, heh…

Isaac:  Where was I?  Gracie messed me up.

Dad:  We need a monster to keep *our* Gracie in line.

Isaac:  Yeah, EXACTLY. 

Gracie:  Zack’s sister might be annoying, but she has an awesome name. 

Isaac:  The monster he buys doesn’t work, so he gets another one.  That one doesn’t work either, so he keeps getting more and more and more monsters. 

Gracie:  The monsters don’t keep Gracie out of his room, instead they help her annoy her brother.  Which is hilarious.  It’s the exact opposite of what he wanted. 

Isaac:  At the Monstore there are no exchanges or refunds, so Zack had to keep them all.  He built up a huge collection of monsters.

Dad:  Zack’s not very bright.  You’d think he’d figure out pretty soon that buying monsters wasn’t working.

Gracie:  He’s not very smart.  Not as smart as his wonderful, beautiful, incredibly-named sister.

Dad & Gracie:  Hah ha ha haah hah!

Dad:  We do actually have it on good authority that this character is kind of named after you, my dear.

Gracie:  She is me.  Tara Lazar said that when she made up these characters, the girl’s name was just always Gracie.  And she thinks unconsciously she named her that because she reads our blog!  And it IS a lovely name.

Lily:  Why wasn’t *I* stuck in her head?

Elijah (age 7):  It would be fun and awesome to draw pictures for a book like this because of the monsters in it.

Dad:  You are our monster-boy.  You love drawing monsters.

Elijah:  Yes, I do.

Dad:  How did these monsters hold up compared to other monsters you’ve seen?  How is James Burks as a monster draw-er?

Elijah:  Better than me.

Dad:  So he gets a thumbs-up?
Elijah:  The monsters are awesome.  Really awesome.  The awesomeness of them is awesome.

Dad:  Would you guys want to have a monster?

Gracie:  It depends on what kind of monster.  I would like to have the kind that eats dinners you don’t like.  And I’d use him every day.

Isaac:  Then you’d starve and die.

Lily:  I’d buy a glow-in-the-dark monster.  That would be the most useful.  For my life it would.  Because I always like to stay up late.

Elijah:  I want that globby monster in the jar.  I’m pretty sure you could transform him into anything.  I’m pretty sure.  You could just shape-him-up and then make him do stuff for you.

Dad:  What do you think the most helpful monster would be, Isaac?

Isaac:  I’ve actually thought about this before.  Yes, I have.  And I’ve decided – at least at this moment I’m still feeling it – that the best monster would assist you with your pet peeves.  So, when someone leaves the faucet on and it’s barely dripping, the monster would turn it off.  Or if someone leaves the front door open and the flies are flying in, the monster would close it.

Dad:  That’s what children are for.  “Hey kid – go turn that off…”  You’ve got plenty of brothers and sisters for that…

Isaac:  Are you kidding.  I’ve asked so many times.

Gracie:  Yeah – he’s always like, “Turn-it-off–Turn-it-off–Turn-it-off…”

Isaac:  It doesn’t work.  That’s why I want a monster.

Lily:  The purple furry balloon monster is the cutest one.  It’s a girl.  I know because it has eyelashes.

Gracie:  Dad has eyelashes.

Elijah:  I have eyelashes.

Gracie:  Elijah’s eyelashes are way, way long.  The longest eyelashes of anyone I’ve ever met.

Dad:  I love the monster in the book that is just a teeny eyeball with legs.

Gracie:  Hey, what does that little eyeball monster even do?  What is he useful for?

Elijah:  He is just useful for awesomeness.

monster line-up, by Isaac

monsters hi, by Elijah

monster party, by Lily

 

helpful monsters, by Gracie

Author: Tara Lazar

Illustrator: James Burks

Published, 2013:  Aladdin

Like it?  Here it is

Review #80: Gabby and Gator

Dad:  "Gabby and Gator" by James Burks.
Gracie (age 10):  Gabs and Gades.
Dad:  How did you like it?
Gracie:  "Gabby and Gator" is great and good and glorious.
Lily (age 7):  The book is about a girl named Gabby who has no friends because she doesn't talk that much.
Gracie:  The bad bully boy said she was a freak.
Lily:  She was looking for a friend.  And she found a friend.  That would be the big, dog-eating, monster alligator.  But he didn't want to be a monster.  He wanted to be nice.
Elijah (age 5):  But he didn't know how to be nice.
Dad:  Why not?
Elijah:  He eats dogs!
Gracie:  Gator is a poodle-chomper.  He's hungry, and there's nothing else for him to eat.
Isaac (age 12):  Poor Fifi.
Gracie:  I think I know why he eats dogs.  When he was a little gator, he snipped that dog tail.  Remember?
Isaac:  And he's been addicted to dogs ever since.
Lily:  Gabby doesn't eat anything in this story except for that vegetable milkshake.  But Gator eats everything, even dogs.
Elijah:  They are opposites.
Gracie:  But it's not food that makes them a good match for each other...
Lily:  They both play instruments.  They recycle other people's trash together.  They played alligator-pulls-Gabby-around-on-skis.
Isaac:  They play together until the big bad bully comes and teases Gabby.  Gator throws him in the mud.  Then the bully tells the animal control.  It is actually the Inhumane Society, because the guy wants to kill all animals, even innocent teddy bears.
Gracie:  The animal control guy has a lumpy belly and a big nose.
Isaac:  He chases them, and Gator faces his worst fear.  Water.
Gracie:  His worst fear is a toilet.
Isaac:  No, water.
Gracie:  And a toilet.
Isaac:  Toilet water.
Gracie:  He's afraid of toilets because he got flushed down a toilet when he was a little baby gator.
Isaac:  But they live happily ever after.  Kind of.
Dad:  How would you describe the art in the book?
Gracie:  This is a graphic novel.
Lily:  The pictures are unrealistic.
Isaac:  My favorite thing about the book is how he doesn't try to draw the pictures realistically.  He likes to draw the characters with pointy noses and exaggerated sizes.
Lily: (speaking to Gator)  You're just a big cartoon!
Gracie:  I think it's funny how the bully boy is so wide and flat!
Lily:  He's like a skinny square.
Gracie: (holding up her hands)  He's only that thick.
Dad:  What about Gator's design?
Gracie:  He's pretty cool.  He's got checkers on him.
Lily:  His eyes aren't even on his head.
Dad:  And he's got floating eyebrows.
Gracie:  Everybody should have floating eyebrows.
Lily:  I like the three twins.
Dad:  I believe "three twins" is called triplets.
Lily:  Ha ha ha ha!
Gracie:  He did a good job making the triplets look like popular people.
Dad:  Would you guys be friends with Gabby?
Gracie:  I like her.  I'm friends with everybody.
Dad:  Would you be friends with an alligator?
Gracie:  Maybe.  If I got to know him well.
Lily:  I would make a model of a dog and give it to him first to see if he eats dogs.  I would make him a dog out of bacon.
Gracie:  I'd be afraid he'd eat our little sister Evie.  I'd bring Gator home, but I'd just lock Evie up in the bathroom.
Dad:  You'd rather lock up Evie than the alligator?
Gracie:  Oh yeah.  I'd lock up the alligator.  Sorry, Evie!
Dad:  But the gator is terrified of the bathroom.
Gracie:  Oh yeah.  Sorry, Gator.  I wouldn't lock him up.  I'd just wait until Evie was on vacation.
Dad:  Who is this book for?
Gracie:  Everybody.
Isaac:  The book is especially for people who don't fit in.
Gracie:  If you don't fit in, buy yourself an alligator.
Lily:  And hope it doesn't eat you.

Gabby and Gator, by Elijah

Gator and Fifi, by Isaac

a peek inside Gator, by Lily

off to the pool, by Gracie

Author/Illustrator: James Burks
Published, 2010: Yen Press
Like it?  Here it is