Review #51: The Book That Eats People

Dad:  So what are we reading here?
Lily (age 6):  "The Book That Eats People."  It's about a book that eats people.
Dad:  The book in the story is about this book -- the very book in our hands.
Lily:  Yeah.  It's the book that eats people.
Dad:  The book we are holding eats people.
Lily:  Yeah.
Dad:  And Lily, you said it's not a good book?
Lily:  Yeah.  Because it eats people.
Dad:  Oh.
Lily:  Actually, everything you could say about this book is "It eats people."
Dad:  Because that's the main point, huh.
Lily:  Yeah.  It's a book that eats people.
Gracie (age 9):  This book is about the book.  It's a book about itself.
Isaac (age 11):  This is a weird book to review.  Why are we going to review it if it wants to eat us?
Lily:  It's an evil book that eats people!  Beware of it!  You might find it in the library.  You should kill it.
Isaac:  Destroy it at first sight!
Lily:  We've got to stomp on it and destroy it and put it in a fire.
Isaac:  Or a paper shredder.  Where's a paper shredder?  We need to go to Staples and borrow their paper shredder.
Gracie:  The book tells you warnings and cautions.
Lily:  Like, put something heavy on it if it starts growling.
Gracie:  And don't read it with syrupy fingers.  Or a cookie in your pocket.
Isaac: (whispering)  Dad!  Pssst!  Dad!  What if the book realizes we just ate pizza for dinner 10 minutes ago?
Dad:  It can probably smell the food still on our breath...
Isaac:  Oh no.  I think my hands smell like cookies.
Dad:  So what is the story about?
Lily:  About the kids that the book ate so far.
Isaac:  It has eaten a whole lot of people.  Including Sammy.
Dad:  Sammy Ruskin.
Isaac:  At least it's not my friend Sammy Emmons.
Dad:  And who was that little cutie it ate?
Gracie:  Victoria.  She IS cute.
Isaac:  Way too cute.  She's so cute that she looks sort of evil.
Dad:  Tell me about the pictures...
Isaac:  The pages are done in all different styles.
Dad:  There are lots of collages.  You guys might have fun doing collages.  The illustrator made it look like things are taped in there... or like different papers are stacked on top of each other.
Isaac:  I don't know what I should say.  "Read the book" or "Don't read the book"?
Dad:  What is good about the book?
Isaac:  It's a good, great, awesome book with cool pictures.
Lily:  It IS a good book.
Dad:  What is bad about the book?
Isaac:  It could bite your hands off.
Dad:  So you are conflicted about whether to recommend it or not...
Isaac:  I recommend it very much.  Because we don't want it at our house one more day.
Dad:  We got this one from the library...
Gracie:  And this book is overdue, so we have to pay money.
Isaac:  We're paying money to have a book that is evil?  That's kind of weird.  They should be paying us because we kept it away for extra long.
Dad:  This is my very favorite book of the year, did you know that?  I think this is the best book of 2009.
Isaac:  What?  One that eats people?  And is evil?
Dad:  Yep.  I love it.
Isaac:  I don't believe it.  How could you?
Dad:  Now we've been having fun, but tell me really... do you think there is anyone that shouldn't read this?  Do you think it could actually scare kids?  Or do you think all kids would know this is just fun and silly?
Gracie:  If you are a kid who is very, very, very, very, very, very, very cautious about everything, then don't read it.
Dad:  What kind of kids would enjoy a book like this?
Gracie:  Goofy kids.  Me!
Lily:  I like this book!  Because it's a fun book.
Gracie:  It's a terrifying book.  In a good way.
Dad:  It's fun to be silly and scary sometimes, isn't it.
Gracie:  Yeah...  If only it didn't eat people...
Isaac:  Everyone, say good things about this book so it won't eat us.
Dad:  Do you have any words for the creators... John Perry and Mark Fearing?
Gracie:  Yeah.  If the book didn't already eat you guys, make more books!
Isaac:  It probably ate them already.
Dad:  Did it look like it wanted to nibble any of you guys?
Isaac:  It was staring at Lily.
Gracie:  Evie is plump.  We could feed her to the book.
Isaac:  Throw her to the beast!
Lily:  Let the book eat me.
Dad:  Let the book eat Lily?
Lily:  Yes.
Dad:  You are willing to sacrifice yourself?
Lily:  So he won't eat any others of you.
Dad:  That's so nice of you.  (kiss)  Awww... that was very kind of you, my little sweet girl.

collage of carnage, by Isaac

the zookeeper brought pizza and cake... but he was too late, by Lily

the book that ate Gracie, by Gracie

Author: John Perry
Illustrator: Mark Fearing
Published, 2009: Tricycle Press
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